Well, looks like the number on the whiteboard at the entrance of NFL headquarters is back to zero, as in, βZero days without a league-rocking scandal.β
Of course, Iβm talking about Jon Grudenβs homophobic and misogynistic emails coming to light in the seemingly bigger (but much more hush-hush) investigation/scandal/whatever involving the Washington Football Team (suggested new name: The Harassers, and Iβll show myself out).
But yes: Grudenβs emails with his buddy Bruce Allen, the former general manager of the WFT, show Gruden to be, at best, awfully casual with the way he throws around derogatory terms, and at worst, a racist, sexist, homophobic, mouth-breathing moron.
Gruden saw the writing on the wall and resigned before you can say βcollateral damage,β but it does have me thinking two things. One, you have to be a damn fool to actually type out the stuff Gruden typed and then hit βsend.β Seriously. I wonβt even curse in an email or text anymore. Risk/reward is not there.
And two? I wonder how many other βwhen men were men and sheep were scaredβ types are patrolling NFL sidelines. I mean, at the risk of stereotyping, Iβm guessing most NFL coaches and their underlings — and general managers, and vice presidents, and on and on —Β ainβt exactly what the kids today call woke. Now I know Iβm painting with a broad brush, but still: I have to imagine more than a few members of the NFL community are pooping their Pumas, wondering if their off-color emails, texts, what-have-you will also one day be featured in The New York Times.
And heck, who knows where the end of this thing is. After all, the league has some 650,000 emails as part of the WFT investigation (which deals with Dan Snyder and his former co-owners, basically, but also, clearly, so much more).
Jon Grudenβs comments confirm what many of us have long known to be true: People in power speak differently behind closed doors.
This goes beyond him, and the NFL should release their findings on the WFT under Dan Snyder. (via @FirstTake) pic.twitter.com/UH8JUmRxma
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) October 12, 2021
ESPNβs Adam Schefter has gotten caught up in it, as itβs come to light he sent Allen an advance copy of a story he was working on back in 2011, referring to Allen as βMr. Editor.β
βPlease let me know if you see anything that should be added, changed, tweaked,β Schefter wrote to Allen, according to the Los Angeles Times. βThanks, Mr. Editor, for that and the trust. Plan to file this to espn about 6 am β¦.β
(Sidebar: As a longtime journalist myself, what Schefter did is a no-no. You just donβt share pre-published stories with the people youβre writing about. Itβs fair, reasonable, and expected to go back to sources to make sure things are correct, but to give a source carte blanche over a story, well β¦ itβs journalistically icky. Good job by Schefter by getting out in front of this and saying what he did was wrong. I hope no professional harm comes to Schefter, because I — and his 8.6 million followers on Twitter — would be lost in the woods when it comes to NFL DFS and sports betting without his inside sources. My Need To Know 1, Journalism Ethics 0 for those scoring at home. Anyway β¦)
Anyway, Gruden: There’s just no room at the table for people who think like that, and certainly no room at the table for people dumb enough to commit it to the cloud.
On with the show …
The +1000 or more parlay of the week
Yeah, last week was a disaster on this sports betting longshot, per usual, as we dropped to 0-5 on the year. Only got one out of four legs correct — the Chargers, and youβll hear more about them later. But onward and upward and all that, and so this week, weβre changing it up, headed over to Unibet, and the play is over 55.5 in the Chiefs-WFT game, the Panthers outright over the Vikings, the Cowboys giving 3.5 to the Patriots, and the Broncos giving 3.5 to the Raiders.
Rationale? Chiefs should put up 35 by themselves by halftime; the Panthers are objectively better than the Vikings, with or without Christian McCaffrey; the Cowboys are going to the Super Bowl; the Raiders are probably emotionally drained; and the Broncos are better and itβs in Mile High.
The on-paper, no doubt, three-team teaser that’s bound to lose
I vowed to go apple picking last week if I didnβt nail this one. It was a nail-biter, but β¦ no apple picking for me, thank goodness. Had the Chargers getting 2.5 points, the Cowboys getting 1.5 points, and the Ravens — whew! — giving a point to the Colts. Up to 2-3 on the year with these stupid, stupid bets.
This week, headed to FanDuel, and again, this looks like a no-apple picking for me kind of week: Give me Kansas City getting a half point at WFT, give me Panthers getting 7.5 at home against Minnesota, and give me the Bills Monday night getting a half point at Tennessee.
Did I win the DraftKings Milly Maker?
No, but you know what really irked me? Iβm a tournament player who enters anywhere from 60-80 lineups a week. Every so often — like maybe five times a year — Iβll hit on a lineup that I really, really, really like. It happened last week. It was a Burrow-Chase-Higgins stack with a Davante Adams bringback. I went chalk at running back and flex with Alexander Mattison, Leonard Fournette, and Derrick Henry. Finished up with Ricky Seals-Jones and the Washington defense. When I stumbled into this lineup, I literally said out loud something like, βOh shizz, this is a good lineup.β And once I recognized that, I shouldβve entered it into a ton of small field stuff. Instead, I just dropped it in the Milly Maker. Iβve been playing DFS since 2014 and fantasy football since 1986, I should probably trust my gut now and again, you know? Rant over.Β
Do you think we really cared about that story?
No, almost certainly not, but I feel better just getting it out there, so shut up.Β
DraftKings DFS play of the week
I gave you Leonard Fournette last week. Too easy. I also gave you Laviska Shenault Jr., which was dumb because heβs coached by a dimwit.
EXCLUSIVE: Urban Meyer's 'squeeze' Cayman Nebraska, 24, is pictured cuddled up to him on night of shame https://t.co/LSxcSYOIMC pic.twitter.com/bS5gNZXmbu
— Daily Mail US (@DailyMail) October 13, 2021
This week, well, this week is probably the most interesting DFS week of the year. The clear game to target is the Kansas City-WFT matchup, and making it even more interesting is there are numerous ways to attack this game. Thereβs expensive pieces, cheap pieces, middling pieces. Itβs going to be over-owned, obviously, but it also has a chance to be a 45-38 game, so β¦ I probably plan on being ahead of the field.
Having said that, contrarian pieces are most definitely needed, and with that, allow me to introduce you to Joe Mixon (assuming he plays). No one is playing Mixon this week off an injury, and furthermore, heβs sandwiched in price by DβAndre Swift and Antonio Gibson. Jonathan Taylor is $200 more. Then thereβs even more good options above and below.
But Mixon? Right now, Samaje Perine is on the COVID list and the Bengals are playing the Lions. A 20-150-2 game is certainly in the realm of possibility, and if heβs more than 5% owned, Iβll be shocked.
Survivor pick of the week
OK, welcome to my personal hell, as I participated in zero survivor contests and yet here I am, 5-0 to start the year with the Rams, Browns, Broncos, Bills, and Ravens (whew, again). In keeping with the spirit of the contest, I will ban these teams from my picks, which means this week Iβm going with the Broncos at home against the Former Grudens.
Best odds boost of the week
Where have all the odds boosts gone, Mrs. Robinson? As of now, outside of the now-always-on single game parlay moneyback offers, thereβs bupkis by way of boosts. Youβd think some of these lesser sportsbooks would offer something wonderful to entice schlubs like me.Β
Trap game of the week
After starting the year 3-0 here, Iβve been trapped the last two weeks by the Chiefs beating up on the Eagles and again last week when the Saints took down the WFT (yeah, you know me).
This week? I have to say itβs the Steelers giving 5.5 points to the Geno Smith-led Seahawks in Pittsburgh. The Hawks are an objectively better team and the Steelers are without Juju. Do I think the Seahawks win? Eh, probably not, but 5.5 points seems like a lot to me, especially in a game where both teams want to sit on the ball.
Player props I like
Last week was a 2-1 show, as I lost on Jalen Hurts rushing yards but won on Zeke Elliott rushing yards and Hunter Renfrow receptions.
Heading over to DraftKings, I like Matthew Stafford under 2.5 yards rushing at -110 (heβs only gone over that once, and with the Rams 10-point favorites, thereβs a good chance heβll lose a few kneel yards at the end of the game); Justin Fields over 12.5 yards rushing at -140 (the Bears coaching staff has to let him use his legs eventually, right?); Lamar Jackson over 69.5 rushing yards at -115 (the Chargers will dare him to take off, and he will); Melvin Gordon under 46.5 rushing yards at -115 (heβs banged up); and Hunter Renfrow over 4.5 catches at -150 (heβs done it every week).
My mortal lock five-star only for my best customers can’t lose guaranteed best bet of the week
Hey now, Chargers! Two weeks in a row you were my mortal lock, two weeks in a row you came through for me. Up to 3-2 on the season, which means if you bet $11 million each week, youβd be up $8 million right now and could retire. See what I do for you?
Anyway, this week itβs β¦ man, I really, really, really want to go with the Chargers getting 2.5 points in Baltimore. I canβt be any more clear: I truly believe the Chargers are the best team in the AFC, and possibly the NFL. Ah, screw it: Chargers +2.5.Β