The Colorado Division of Gaming has a large online document that covers its sports betting catalog. It is essentially dozens of spreadsheets that detail exactly what kinds of events sportsbook apps are allowed to offer wagers on in the state.
But the gem of the document is a tab labeled βrejected wagers.β
Among the rejected wagers are borderline celebrity boxing matches, eclectic Super Bowl props that have little or nothing to do with the result of the game (Gatorade color, wardrobe selections, length of the national anthem, etc.), and entertainment awards (no Oscars betting in the Centennial State, Iβm afraid).
One entry sticks out on close examination: the Puppy Bowl, Animal Planetβs subversive programing on Super Bowl Sunday (the action starts at 2 p.m. ET). I could tell you something about how popular the Puppy Bowl is, but the way the ratings are described in last yearβs press release, it might as well be in hieroglyphics.
A record 103 puppies will feature in this yearβs Puppy Bowl to encourage pet adoptions π pic.twitter.com/fEPmcYp5fg
— Reuters (@Reuters) February 9, 2022
And yes, before you disparage the puppies, it is football. There are touchdowns, flags are thrown for penalties, there is a winning team (Team Ruff defeated Team Fluff, 73-69, last year), and there is controversy. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, there are even Puppy Bowl NFTs.
But the fact that the Puppy Bowl was listed under βrejected wagersβ means a sportsbook in Colorado had to ask to offer it. This obviously requires the peak of journalistic seriousness and examination. Luckily, Iβm a super-serious journalist.
I even reached out to Puppy Bowl broadcast commentators Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg, who will also serve as coaches this year for Puppy Bowl XVIII. Marthaβs representatives gave me hope for a while, only to pull the plug on deadline. I got so close, I could taste her homemade potato gaufrette. I went so far as to text Snoop directly, but he didn’t respond. Rude.
On set. Text me (213) 205-0945
— Snoop Dogg (@SnoopDogg) September 17, 2020
Who asked to offer Puppy Bowl wagering?
So, I moved on to the Colorado Division of Gamingβs director, Dan Hartman. Why wonβt the state allow wagering on the Puppy Bowl?
βTheyβre extremely susceptible to coercion and being compromised,β Hartman said. βAll they need is treats, so we said no.β
I find it offensive to question the integrity of puppies without any evidence, but you do you, Dan.
But I wouldnβt let him sidestep the tough questions with glib remarks. Who asked to offer the Puppy Bowl, Mr. Hartman?
Grab your snacks, the Puppy Bowl is back! pic.twitter.com/jbqcHYEsQf
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) February 9, 2022
βI donβt remember, but I said, βOh, hell no,ββ Hartman said.
Likely story. Iβve been stonewalled before, so facing this regulatory roadblock, I did what was necessary. I asked every single online sportsbook that operates in Colorado β did you ask to offer betting on the Puppy Bowl?
A frustrating journey
Itβs safe to say many sportsbook directors and public-relations representatives did not find the question to be very humorous or compelling. Most poor PR souls tasked with taking this question to their superiors responded with something to the effect of, βUh, OK. Iβll ask, I guess.β One said, βSounds like something Barstool would do.β Shot fired.
When asked if they wanted to offer Puppy Bowl betting, the big guys quickly denied. Johnny Avello at DraftKings said, βNo. I donβt believe so.β FanDuelβs John Sheeran said, βAbsolutely not. I donβt even know what that is.β Thereβs a possibility many of these people will never take me seriously again, but these are the lengths I will go to in order to uncover the truth.
Some didnβt confirm or deny. Caesars PR man Jim Carr said, βI have no idea. I kinda doubt it. I donβt even know if itβs legal anywhere.β Patrick Eichner, who handles communications at PointsBet, said, βI have no idea. What could you even bet on?β Donβt play coy with me, Eichner. You would bet on the Puppy Bowl.
How would someone bet on the Puppy Bowl?
But since Eichner asked, letβs get into what Puppy Bowl betting might look like. Offshore books have offered Puppy Bowl betting in the past, but as of early this week, I couldnβt find one that had this yearβs event up.
There was a point spread, a moneyline, and even props, including a few that are β¦ icky, to say the least. One asked if Michael Vick would tweet about the Puppy Bowl. That inspired me to search βMichael Vick Puppy Bowlβ on Twitter, and I do not recommend it. Another offered whether the MVP would be a purebred or a mix. Imagine a prop that was related to the race of the Super Bowl MVP. Have you no shame?
But if you want to do some scouting, take a look at the video below, or check out the player profiles. One is named Odell Barkham. Adorbs.
Just look at this little Nugget π @flldr
π #PuppyBowl Game Day: Feb. 13 at 2p ET on #AnimalPlanet and @discoveryplus pic.twitter.com/c2d9E9avP5
— Animal Planet (@AnimalPlanet) February 8, 2022
There were also somewhat hostile responses
All right. Back to the matter at hand. Some of the responses from sportsbooks in Colorado were borderline snippy.
βNo. That is ridiculous,β shot back Nick Epstein, the sportsbook manager at Monarch Casino in Blackhawk, when asked if he was the one who asked to offer wagering on the Puppy Bowl. βMonarch Blackhawk would never have anything to do with that.β
βPlease,β replied SuperBookβs Jay Kornegay. βWeβre the ones that are fighting for those ridiculous things not to be offered.β
Jay must be a cat person.
Brian Bennett, the chief operating officer at Betfred USA, used ALL CAPS for emphasis in an email, but at least gave me some encouragement.
βIt definitely WAS NOT us. I would be equally interested in who would request that. Good luck with the sleuthing,β he said.
As the days wore on, Circa, Betway, TwinSpires, and Tipico were added to the list of denials. I never got definitive responses from BetRivers, FOX Bet, SBK, theScore, PlayUp, Barstool, WynnBET, or Bally Bet.
There was also the curious case of Play Maverick, operated by Maverick Gaming, which also runs casinos in Colorado. I called their Z Casino in Blackhawk, and a customer service representative said, βNobody works in the sportsbook.”
Uh, what?
“Unfortunately thereβs nobody manning it,β she said.
As tempting as it was to get distracted with that factoid, I donβt have time to worry about why there is an unmanned sportsbook out there in Colorado. Weβre dealing with matters of utmost importance here.
A break in the case
Similar to Z Casino, there are online sportsbooks in Colorado that appear to be operated by no one at all or non-sentient beings. Good luck finding anyone with a pulse at SI Sportsbook or Elite Sportsbook, which has a customer service phone line that blares stock rock music, between interludes of extreme static, that is marginally better than the average Nickelback song. For what itβs worth, PlayUp had the best hold music. Canβt go wrong with jazz standards.
Among several online chat discussions with what I assumed were bots, there was BetWildwood, which had a customer service phone line that didnβt work. The BetWildwood chat has a pleasant chime when a response comes in, but I wasnβt getting anywhere, so I moved on. I eventually found out ISI Race and Sports runs the BetWildwood site, so I called over there. A nice fellow named Julio Castillo, an IT customer service manager at ISI, answered the phone and told me he was the one chatting with me online, too. But alas, ISI did not ask to offer betting on the Puppy Bowl.
βThat would not be us,β Castillo said. βThatβs definitely something I would know about.β
I hung up. Another discouraging result. I may never find out the truth.
But then, like a dispatch of the gambling gods from Mount Olympus β or in this case, Mount Elbert? β that warm, welcoming chime rang into my ears. I had not closed the chat window with Castillo, so he sent another response.
βSome internal information told me it was MGM who requested it, and it was declined because of βintegrity.β Thank you very much for your questions. Have a great day!β
A great day it was.
Was it BetMGM?
According to Elisa Richardson, who handles PR for BetMGM, the operator did not ask to offer Puppy Bowl betting.
Now I feel betrayed.
Is BetMGM embarrassed and doesnβt want to admit its Puppy Bowl boondoggle? Was that pleasant, seemingly helpful man at ISI and on the chat trying to lead me off the scent? Was he pulling my leg? Was I chasing my tail? Does he have an ax to grind with MGM? Could this all be part of a grand conspiracy to hide the truth? Is he Hydra? Sorry, I just watched an Avengers movie with my kid.
We may never know.
The truth was out there
Late in the search, I called Doug Terfehr, the vice president of brand marketing at MaximBet. He confirmed it. MaximBet was the sportsbook that asked to offer betting on the Puppy Bowl. There wasnβt much drama or flair.
βIt was a quick no,β Terfehr said of the Division of Gamingβs response to MaximBetβs request.
“We regularly look for and release outside-the-box ideas that bring more fun and entertainment to any event,β Terfehr added. βWe are a lifestyle sports betting brand, and sports fans in the U.S. really like the recreational side of these props, as evident by the annual interest in the unique props around Super Bowl.β
Oh. Probably should have just asked them first.
But seriously, adopt a dog, please
Until we can bet on it, the whole point of the Puppy Bowl, other than dispensing unmitigated joy to the masses, is to encourage people to adopt puppies and adult dogs (and cats, if youβre so inclined, Jay Kornegay).
The Puppy Bowl adopt page isnβt much help right now, which is unfortunate, but local animal shelters would be happy to walk you through the process. Just do a Google search, or you can find a local spot through the ASPCA at this link.
This adopted mutt thanks you.
The best dog ever is 11 years old today pic.twitter.com/0r2iHbU3EA
— Jeremy Balan (@jeremybalan) October 1, 2021